Sunday, September 15, 2013

Islam is protecting me (Part 1- The Role of Wives)

Again about Women.
I am so glad that the care for women has grown in this world and that many like to talk and discuss about it. Some says women should be treated equally to men. Some just want to rule.Some are feeling oppressed. While some are just happy with what they have now. :)

So, during one of my "malas-nak-belajar" night, I went to Youtube and looked for any interesting documentary/talk show/ceramah to watch. And guess what! I've found an interesting talk show (debate show?) that talks about "Does Religions underestimate women?" .What a really interesting topic !
As Islam being one of the famous religion in this world, "oppression of women (?)" in Islam was also one the "hot-topic" being discussed.

I'VE LEFT ISLAM AND CONVERTED TO CHRISTIAN BECAUSE ISLAM PERMITS PUNISHMENT (CANNING) TO THEIR WIVES AND THAT WIVES NEED TO OBEY THEIR HUSBAND IN WHATEVER CIRCUMSTANCE

Oh I pity this girl so much! She converted from Islam just because she has misunderstood the verse! I wonder if she has read the whole verse or maybe just converted once she heard the word "canning"?  Pity Pity Pity. May Allah gives her the "Hidayah".
Actually, Allah swt says in surah An-Nisa:34:

"But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike (lightly) them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand."

You see, Allah swt has put it in steps. First, you advice. Then, if that doesn't work, you kinda need to ignore her. (just for a while and not like totally ignore her), finally only if they are still stubborn then only you could strike them. Strike here doesn't mean canning (like how you imagine in prison!). It's a punishment which is intend to teach not to hurt. Not only that, the husband is totally forbidden  from slapping his wife on the face.  It has been agreed by many Islamic scholars that the third step is best to avoid as avoiding it is nearer to the character of Rasullullah saw. 


Next, she has also mentioned about "Wives need to obey their husband in WHATEVER circumstance". In "WHATEVER" circumstance????????? Seriously I could not find that neither in the Quran nor the Hadith. Neither the Quran nor the Hadith say women need to obey their husband even when the husband is treated them miserably. 

"Why wives need to obey their husband but the opposite don't happen?"- Simple, I say.."Imagine how the earth will be if men need to obey their wives!? ".Yes, I know you are a very intelligent smart woman who could lead the society, but how about the other emotional women out there?(Especially when PMS). If both needs to obey one another, how is that going to happen? Anyway, good news for you, Islam does say men needs to obey to women. And these women are their MOTHER!. Don't you think it's fair now? Women need to obey their husband, while men need to obey their mother. Remember that obeying here means to support, to care for, to be the "wings", not to be treated as slave. It also means "prioritization". Sure, husband need to love and care for their wives, but they need to love and care for their mother more. However, husband still need to treat both of them justly. 

Islam promotes good negotiations and discussions within family. Islam also cherish the wives' point of views. I still remember a lovely story when Rasullullah's saw wife was nagging to Rasullullah and the wife's mother said to her- "How could you nag to Rasullullah like that?! shame on you, respect him!" then, instead of supporting his mother in law, Rasullullah said-"It's okay mother, let her nags. It's okay, she has helped me a lot with the house works..she has supported me countlessly and now she is just tired..let her nag to me, it's okay "     :') 















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